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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27554890">Cards Out For Your Country</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Llama1412/pseuds/Llama1412'>Llama1412</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Diplomacy, Gen, Gwent (The Witcher), Modern Continent (The Witcher), Photography, Pinups, Timeline What Timeline</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:40:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,473</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27554890</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Llama1412/pseuds/Llama1412</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In which a great number of people are convinced <strike>or coerced</strike> into posing for a Gwent Pinup Calendar.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Cards Out for Your Country: Witcher Character Pinups</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Cards Out For Your Country</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/713350">Titties Out For Temeria</a> by 4fires.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>By Modern Continent, I basically mean that it's all the same, but somehow photography is common and there are internships lmao<br/>Timeline?? What is that???</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Elefetheria of Aedirn, better known as Ele, had a <em> genius </em> idea. When she’d first been chosen for her internship with the International Gwent Gaming Commission, she hadn’t really known what to expect. So when her first big project was to come up with a new publicity pitch for gwent, to appeal to the masses that <em> weren’t </em> already gaming, Ele had spent two days frantically searching for ideas – and a third day shaping the most brilliant one she’d ever had.</p><p> </p><p>Her supervisor was less enthusiastic about it.</p><p> </p><p>“Dagan, listen to me,” Ele said seriously, hands planted on Dagan’s desk. “This is the <em> perfect </em> way to bring in new players. It has appeal across all demographics <em> and </em> kingdoms, and we could even frame it as a diplomatic opportunity! Just give me a crew and a travel budget, and I promise you, I will create a something you will <em> love!” </em></p><p> </p><p>Dagan frowned at her, sighing in exasperation. “Ele, we’re not exactly made of money. There is no travel budget and certainly not a photography crew.”</p><p> </p><p>Ele pouted. “Fine, I can take the photos myself. Just give me a chance. Please?”</p><p> </p><p>Dagan narrowed his eyes in consideration. <em> “One </em> photograph. Bring me something mind blowing and maybe I’ll approve this project.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes!” Ele jumped in the air. “Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! You won’t be disappointed!”</p><p> </p><p>Now she just had to decide who to start with.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>As part of her planning, Ele had put together a list of famous citizens of each country, with the thought that she could create a page for each kingdom. It could be a calendar, she decided. A month for each country, featuring the real live versions of gwent card characters. And to start with?</p><p> </p><p>Only the most famous bard on the continent! </p><p> </p><p>Ele bit her lip, shaking his hand with sweaty palms. “Master Dandelion, thank you so much for agreeing to meet with me. I know a man of your fame – well, just, thank you for your time.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, believe me, it’s my pleasure,” Dandelion – <em> the </em> Master Dandelion – winked at her and she blushed brightly. </p><p> </p><p>“So, I was thinking you could maybe pose dramatically with your lute? To call back to the gwent art.”</p><p> </p><p>“My favorite thing to do,” Dandelion joked and <a href="https://www.artstation.com/artwork/k4B9wz"> struck a pose in front of her </a>, holding his lute against his body as if he were going to play. But instead of striking a chord, he used his other hand to gesture grandly in the air.</p><p> </p><p>Ele smiled and brought her camera up to her eye. A blown up map of Kerack – Dandelion’s homeland, as any dedicated fan knew – was pinned to the wall behind him. She was hoping she could center Dandelion within Kerack’s borders while still making its position on the continent clear. Or as clear as possible, when the real focus of the photo was the star in front of it.</p><p> </p><p>Only as awe-inspiring as Dandelion looked in person, something about the sharp jut of his chin and the curl of the giant feather on his hat just wasn’t working with the slim line of his body, interrupted here and there by his poofy clothing.</p><p> </p><p>Ele gnawed on her lip, taking photos from different angles to see if that was the problem.</p><p> </p><p>“My keen understanding of women tells me that something is bothering you,” Dandelion said, breaking her out of her thoughts.</p><p> </p><p>“Something’s not right,” she frowned. “You look incredible, of course you do. But there’s something… I don’t know how to describe it.”</p><p> </p><p>Dandelion smiled at her, breaking his pose to pat her shoulder. The glimmer of his rings in the light caught her eye as he drew away to sweep his arm around to indicate the map. “What’s your vision? Perhaps together, our artistic talents can determine the issue.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well,” Ele began, letting the camera hang from her neck so that she too could gesture with her hands. For once, she didn’t feel self-conscious about the dramatic way she flung her hands around as she got excited. After all, if anyone could appreciate it, Master Dandelion would. “I want to show that gwent is a game that surpasses nations, but also that it’s part of <em> every </em> nation. I was hoping – well, that is, if my supervisor approves of how this photo turns out, then I want to feature people from every kingdom! But like – I don’t just want to show people playing gwent over and over again. We all look pretty much the same playing cards. But the people in the cards – well, I want to show your personality, you know? The way it comes through on the card artwork.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hmm,” Dandelion tapped his chin in thought. “What kind of audience are you looking for?”</p><p> </p><p>“Gwent players?” she said meekly. “Well, no, I mean, we want to bring more people into the game. So… uh… everyone?”</p><p> </p><p>“Have you considered,” Dandelion said slowly, “appealing to a more – adult audience, shall we say?”</p><p> </p><p>Ele tilted her head. “What do you mean?”</p><p> </p><p>“Pinups, my dear, are as old as time.”</p><p> </p><p>She blinked. Pinup pictures – a genre of art meant to portray sexual intent to a casual audience. How had she never thought about that?</p><p> </p><p>“Brilliant,” she said softly, her voice a little too high. “Oh, you are <em> brilliant, </em> Master Dandelion! Who <em> wouldn’t </em> go in for that!? No better way to sell a calendar! But… do you think I’ll be able to get people to agree to it?”</p><p> </p><p>“Perhaps an example might help?” Dandelion winked.</p><p> </p><p>“Would you?” Ele clasped her hands under her chin pleadingly.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course! It would be a crime to deny the public the wonder that is me!”</p><p> </p><p>Ele laughed, suddenly giddy. “Do you have a pose in mind?”</p><p> </p><p>“You know, I think I do,” Dandelion grinned at her, reaching for his belt.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>One week later, Ele bounced on her toes, waiting to see what Dagan thought of her photo. <em> She </em> thought it had turned out perfectly.</p><p> </p><p>Dandelion knelt centered in front of a map of Kerack, knees parted to fit his lute. The only item of clothing he was wearing was his hat. His face was salacious and the photo had captured his wink at just the right moment, giving the entire picture a playful air. </p><p> </p><p>Dagan swallowed audibly. “Well,” he said, “you’ve convinced me. Make a list of models to request and we’ll work on reaching out.”</p><p> </p><p>“How many?” Ele asked.</p><p> </p><p>Dagan’s eyebrow arched. “You proposed a calendar. How many months do you think there are?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well,” she licked her lips, “I was thinking a two-year calendar might be nice? I, uh, the list is… pretty long.”</p><p> </p><p>“All right,” he sighed, “clearly I need to review your list first. Hand it over.”</p><p> </p><p>“I narrowed it down to 24!” she defended even as she reached into her bag and passed him the list. “I – I included themes. So to speak. Master Dandelion actually helped me put it together!”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” Dagan’s tone was considering. “Well, if Master Dandelion approved… let me see.”</p><p> </p><p>Ele bit her lip, watching as he looked over the list she knew by heart.</p><p> </p><ul>
<li><em>Ass Up for Aedirn: Yennefer of Vengerberg, Silgrat of Gulet</em></li>
</ul><ul>
<li><em>Butch for Brokilon: Queen Eithné </em></li>
</ul><ul>
<li><em>Bondage for Brugge: Witcher Eskel</em></li>
</ul><ul>
<li><em>Chiseled for Cintra: Eist Tuirseach</em></li>
</ul><ul>
<li><em>Coquettish for Caingorn: Princess Deidre</em></li>
</ul><ul>
<li><em>Captivating for Cidaris: Valdo Marx</em></li>
</ul><ul>
<li><em>Dicks Out for Dol Blathanna: Francesca Findebair, Filavandrel aén Fidháil</em></li>
</ul><ul>
<li><em>Kama Sutra for Kaedwen: Mage Sabrina Glevissig, Mage Keira Metz</em></li>
</ul><ul>
<li><em>Kinky for Kovir: Mage Silé de Tansarville</em></li>
</ul><ul>
<li><em>Kneeling for Kerack: Master Dandelion</em></li>
</ul><ul>
<li><em>Lusty for Lyria: Queen Meve</em></li>
</ul><ul>
<li><em>Makeouts for Mahakam: Zoltan Chivay, Yarpen Zigrin</em></li>
</ul><ul>
<li><em>Naughty for Nilfgaard: Emperor Emhyr var Emreis, Morvran Voorhis</em></li>
</ul><ul>
<li><em>Needy for Nazair: Mage Istredd</em></li>
</ul><ul>
<li><em>Nude for Novigrad: Elihal the Tailor</em></li>
</ul><ul>
<li><em>Pussy out for the Pontar Valley: Saskia the Dragonslayer</em></li>
</ul><ul>
<li><em>Resplendent for Redania: Sigismund Dijkstra</em></li>
</ul><ul>
<li><em>Randy for Rivia: Witcher Geralt</em></li>
</ul><ul>
<li><em>Salacious for the Scoia’tael: Iorveth</em></li>
</ul><ul>
<li><em>Sexy for Skellige: Queen Cerys</em></li>
</ul><ul>
<li><em>Slutty for Sodden: Mage Triss Merigold</em></li>
</ul><ul>
<li><em>Tits Out for Temeria: Vernon Roche</em></li>
</ul><ul>
<li><em>Topless for Toussaint: Duchess Anna Henrietta</em></li>
</ul><ul>
<li><em>Voyeur for Verden: Witcher Lambert, Witcher Aiden</em></li>
</ul><p> </p><p>There were more than a few names on the list that appeared to send Dagan into coughing fits. “You–” he wheezed, “you’ve got royalty on here! The <em> Emperor </em> even! You cannot <em> possibly </em> ask them to – to–”</p><p> </p><p>“To pose like Master Dandelion?”</p><p> </p><p>Dagan made a croaking noise in response, horror stricken across his face.</p><p> </p><p>“Master Dandelion assured me that for the cause of gwent – and with the example to follow – everyone should agree. Probably.” </p><p> </p><p>“Probably?” Dagan rasped. <em> “Probably!? </em> We cannot <em> ask royalty to pose nude </em> based on <em> probably! </em>The entire institution of gwent is at stake!”</p><p> </p><p>“But think of the impact when they agree,” Ele said. “Think of all the people flocking to the game, because what is this magnificent game that it could bring all of these people together!? Gwent will take over the continent!”</p><p> </p><p>“...I’ll see what the Powers That Be say.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This idea was inspired by 4fire's art, but is also part of a collaborative effort to draw more Witcher pinup characters. Because why not? I can't draw, so fic is what I offer. If you'd be interested in drawing something, <a href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1unLKkwcUo4og27HgpVIX7-8LgcFAslDoT21V1N6A_TQ/edit#gid=0">please let me know!</a> Any art (sfw or nsfw) is welcome if you find yourself inspired!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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